Geek or What?

As I've already mentioned before, my first computer was a Sinclair ZX Spectrum bought some 25 years ago . The reason I bought it is still very clear: I wandered into Dixons one day and saw some snotty little kids playing with the dispay model. Curiosity aroused, I gazed at this small black "thing" and realised that I has absolutely no idea what the hell to do, and that wasn't a good feeling. Payday came and I left the shop with a box tucked under my arm, convinced I was now part of the new techno revolution. More importantly, no more would I have to be envious of small children who knew more than me.

I have to be honest and say that I remember very few of the games but I next upgraded from my beloved Speccy to an Atari 520STFM. Oh, the joy of having a real size keyboard and the amazing games that now filled my world. I was Manager of a building society branch based in a sleepy little seaside town by now and, after the customer had been and gone, I would tell my staff I was off to see such and such a solicitor/accountant/broker and hurtle home to get another fix of Jet Set Willy. I was still amazed by the things this box of tricks could do and started experimenting with MIDI ports and synths. The living room slowly filled with discs, cables, books and all the detritus associated with my new addiction. Nights were spent pounding a hot keyboard and that's when I discovered desktop publishing and started a somewhat scurrilous journal for circulation amongst all the local branches of the firm. I suppose it was one of my greatest moments when my Regional Manager asked me if he could put something in it as he would then know everyone had read it.

Then came the first real, grown-up PC! Over £1000's worth of kit with such amazing spec. as 8meg of RAM and 256megabytes of memory. I know it sounds silly now but that was some hot mother of a PC. Well, time's moved on now and we currently have a setup of 2 PCs with 3 inline screens plus Cortez the laptop. I know enough now to be able to get my kit custom-built but am still a mere amateur compared to so many out there on the interweb.

The reason I suddenly thought of all this was because I decided i wanted a counter on my blogsite and came across the dreaded HTML. Now, I can speak a few languages enough to get by and can even say "Keep off the grass" in Urdu but HTML scares the wotsit out of me. I don't know why it is: I have nerdy friends who can reel off all sorts of programming language like C++. Perl and Java but I just seem to have a mental block. Perhaps I was scared by a syntax error as a child? What IS syntax (apart from yet another way for the Government to make money)?

However, you may well note a small counter on the blog now. The Great God Google quickly led me to a wonderful site that gives small fry like me , not only a customisable counter for free, but also does all the Java script and is really easy to install. Hail to you, StatCounter.com. It currently shows about 139 hits - not because I've had that number but because one is given the choice of a number from which to start. My pride wouldn't let me start at 1 because it looks like I'm Billy No-Mates and I thought 6,000,000 might be viewed somewhat cynically, so I chose 135. Reasons? Well, I know about 7 people have looked at it definitely and Zoë, my daughter (who demanded a mention tonight - Hello sweetie!) said even she had read it. That makes 8,which is pretty near three figures, so 135 it was.

Now I can rejoice if there are any more hits or dust off my Leonard Cohen collection if the counter remains stubbornly still. More importantly, Ive learned a bit more and am possibly now at Geek (Third Class) status.

You know the old phrase "In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is King"? My little computer knowledge elevates me in the local community (well, down the pub, anyway). People mention computers and I can drop in an occasional comment about overclocking or ISP configs whereupon they gaze at me in awe. Of course, they don't know I have no idea what I'm talking about but it means I can handle the simple questions and bullshit the hard ones with technical gobbledegook and my status as a total geek is assured.

God forbid that I ever come across someone who really knows what they're talking about!