I guess it's fair to say that I became a grumpy old man at a very early age. Most things annoy me if I really put my mind to it and I have always been able to extract a negative from most situations and get annoyed accordingly.
Since the move to Eastbourne however, I have become calmness and rationality personified. I smile sweetly at 93 year old invalid car drivers who seem to think they're in the Ben Hur chariot race as they race through the Arndale Centre en route to Greggs, I gaze benignly at the small children running amok through the supermarket as their mothers place their trollies exactly in the optimally inconvenient place and thus totally block the aisle as they discuss who Jordan is marrying this week. I don't even mind the noisy, indolent, rude and seemingly immovable groups of foreign students which clog up most of the larger coffee shops whilst one of their number purchases a bottle of water which therefore entitles their number to fall across every comfy seat in the aforesaid emporia! You see, my temperament has, up to now been transformed into a combination of Mother Teresa and the best bits of Roy Cropper from Corrie.
However ..................................
Tonight I went out on a photoshoot along the seafront. For once, not amidst the balmy evening airs for which our lovely town is so renowned but in a chilly, misty and damp atmosphere. Being a sort of ageing Bear Grylls type, I was stoical and had a jolly nice time trying to be creative and snapping away merrily at, amongst other things, our wonderful pier. It was then that I noticed the dome feature was featuring a distinct lack of light bulbs (click pic to enlarge).
See what I mean? A crowning glory which, if I was still in grumpy old man mode, personifies all that is wrong with Society. I am very tempted (as appears to be the current trend) to occupy the pier until such time as this deplorable state of affairs is remedied but they close at night and I'd get lonely. I am therefore entreating all of you to take to the streets until such times as this blight is corrected. It really does spoil the look of what should be a symbol of the best seaside town in Britain and is hardly that difficult to put right.
On to further matters: namely the singular lack of evening tea establishments in the town centre. I mention this as a continuation of my Bear Grylls comment earlier but there is only so much discomfort one can take before the Great Tea God calls. We walked from the pier right through the centre of town peering at all the establishments serving food and/or booze but not one could proffer the cured aromatic leaves of the Camellia sinensis as a cure for my onset hyperthermia and raging thirst. I have drunk tea in many places in the world: from the fresh tea of the Sri Lanka plantations to the strangely unsatisfying brew that our American cousins prefer to drink but the one place I could not satisfy my craving was in my own dear, lovely , wonderful Eastbourne!!! Even the bloody French sell it!!
I fully accept that it's the wrong time of the year and I also fully accept that there are probably numerous places which fit the bill but of which I am unaware. That's Life innit .......................
........... See, I almost justified it and went back to placid mode !!!! Not this time, baby, this time it's for real.
Whadda we want? Tea and bulbs. When do we want them? NOW!!!
Dear Mr Pier Boss, As a pier of the realm, watt do you think about some Spring bulbs? To me, this would be a fulfilament of a dream and would prove nobody could hold a candle to your ability to fix things. Yours, Bertie xxx
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