Bye bye, Big Brother

I have to admit the fascination of Big Brother has meant I've had to do some catching up on the soaps over the weekend. There are not that many programmes that I really like although Q.I., Judge John Deed, cooking shows (unless they have that grinning idiot Ainsley Harriott) and Coronation Street will always be recorded.

Fortunately, the appeal of Big Brother has palled due to the pathetic antics of the inmates. I was rather hoping I might see some interesting studies of human nature, mature debate and a few eccentrics but have had to put up with whingeing, spoilt brats, embittered moaners, sad, personality-less boy/men and immature wannabees. So, this weekend I've been able to play catch-up on Corrie.

The reason I document this is to celebrate the mention of Neil Young on my favourite soap. Actually, the episode in question proved what a sad person I am as the events unfolded a bit like this:

Jerry: .........rather like Marrakesh Express

Vernon: Ah, yes, Crosby Stills Nash & Young. Good song.

Me (screaming): It was NOT CSNY. It was Crosby Stills & Nash. Neil Young was touring with Crazy Horse in 1969 and didn't join them until their second album!!! For goodness' sake, get your f*cking facts right.

I turned to Mrs B and said to her "Norris would have known that. He's a man that gets his facts right." She looked at me sadly and nodded. Enough said!


Anyway, on to other matters and it's time to have a pop at Nationwide Building Society. You've all seen the ads where the guy from the other bank does it all wrong and the voiceover extols the virtues of Nationwide. Now, I receive a reasonable pension from Nationwide and have to say that they were extremely good employers. They paid nice bonuses, gave me the run of their stationery inventory and every 9 months sent me some corporate clothing (albeit designed by Jeff Banks). Best of all, they subsidised my entertaining and playing golf in the name of business whilst, just occasionally, expecting me to drop into the various offices under my command.


These adverts of theirs are quite funny, I have to say. Forget the fact that I made a training video along exactly those lines about 10 years ago and got sod all for it; I'm not bitter. What has annoyed me however is regarding their latest Home Insurance ad offering 20% premium discount. Remember the ad where the guy comes in complaining that his savings rate has dropped and the Bank Manager says "Oh, that's our juicy worm rate."? As an insurance customer of theirs for donkey's years, my immediate thought was that they are doing exactly the same thing! What about loyalty, Nationwide? See, I retire and the place falls to rack and ruin!!

I'm not normally one to complain but if anyone from Customer Services Dept. at Northampton is reading this; be prepared!

What else has happened recently? I've decided to build a bigger and better Mission Control for all out PCs etc. The trouble is that with my modelling, Mrs B's painting and various other things going on, the room we use is not big enough any longer. This room is therefore going to be a sewing/quilting room along with my modelling stuff whilst the computers will be moving to the lounge where I shall build a new desk etc to accomodate both them, the painting and my flight sim. hardware.

The desk will be 10 feet x 3 feet and yesterday the sheet of MDF was delivered. Trying to get it upstairs was a bit of a headache but it was duly placed in the lounge where I have to make a few minor adjustments to it as well as fit it and build a new unit underneath. I decided that a jigsaw was an essential piece of equipment and duly whizzed off to purchase same. This was not one of my better journeys, namely:

Petrol Station: Why did I choose the queue for the pump that ran out of unleaded just as I got there?

C7 Newhaven to Lewes Road: Why did I get halfway and then find the road closed so had to divert several miles?

Lewes: Why was the road to Argos closed apart from essential traffic?

Argos: Classifying my mission as "essential", I drove triumphantly into the small lane to the Argos car park and was aghast to find myself in the middle of a host of Morris Dancers!

I know I get steamed up about quite a few things but Morris Dancers are fairly high on the list. There I was, the only car in sight, suddenly surrounded by a load of loonies with beards, waving hankies and capering about like Parkinsons' sufferers on Speed. The women all looked the same - rosy cheeks and "I use a mooncup" written all over their stupid smiling faces. I was totally trapped betwixt the crowd and the manic street performers when one wandered over and smiled benignly at me. I wound down the window and was assailed by a blast of Harveys best bitter before the jingling fool informed me that "they wouldn't be long". Entertaining thoughts of justifiable road rage and homicide, I sat there and eventually made it into the car park. Grrrrrrrrr!

I now have a room full of timber and a jigsaw that I have now tested and find it has a mind of it's own. Anybody want a 10x3 piece of fretwork?

Finally, just a few shots of the 3 models I've been working on lately. Not great but I have loved the satisfaction, discipline and tought processes involved. Perhaps more on their construction later. I'm currently working on a 1/32 scale Sea Venom, made by Revell. To anybody out there thinking of buying a model for someone, choose Revell only if you dislike the recipient or he knows what he is doing - compared to Hasegawa or Tamiya, they are a nightmare!

Click photo to enlarge

Random Ramblings (part 361)

I've got a bit of a block at the moment. Well, truth be told, I can't force myself to write: I merely react to situations or stimulations through words.

I wish I was more of a creative person. I make models which have been formed by somebody else and I just finish them. I am adept at using Photoshop to change images but I'm unable to create my own. I can't draw, paint, carve, sew, play an instrument or even whistle with my fingers. All I can do is write. When I don't feel in the mood then life becomes that little bit less satisfying.

In a bid to get the old creative juices flowing, I've written down loads of questions and can now occasionally pick some at random to natter about. Here's the first group:

If you gave a dinner party, which people living or dead) would you invite?

Terry Pratchett, Stephen Fry, Lao Tzu, Hernando Cortez, Cecil Rhodes, Oscar Wilde, Bill Bryson, John Lennon, Salvador Dali and Leonardo da Vinci.


Do you prefer Prada or Primark?

I've never been a "labels" person but I like nice clothes that fit well. Sadly, these days I tend to slob around in jeans and tee shirt so don't really need to traipse round shops too much. Having said that, my wardrobes seem to be bulging with clothes!

What are your best & worst characteristic?

My worst is a predilection to drift off into my own little universe and push people away. Partly, as I don't feel that I deserve them but also partly because I am comfortable there. My thinking has a horizon and, just now and again, I can see another horizon beyond it, kind of like another layer of thought which tantalizes me but I can't, or won't quite grasp it. I guess my best characteristic is that I can make people laugh (At least, I hope I can! Aaaaaaargh!!).

Your most visited website
At the moment, it's Digital Spy Forums as I became fascinated by the "social experiment" that is Big Brother. I am very lucky to have made some very good and caring friends on there and it provides a vehicle for me to join in the banter and generally play the fool. Having said that, I have about 50 sites bookmarked which I use regularly for one thing or another.

What crime would you commit if you were guaranteed to remain undiscovered?

I'd probably forge an unlimited use British Airways ticket (First Class, of course!)

What career path would you have chosen?

Hindsight is a wonderful thing and perhaps I should have stayed in the Diplomatic Service.
Given a choice of career though, I guess either an RAF pilot or an entertainer of some sort.


The former because I would love to have that skill and freedom whilst the latter would give me the means to hide behind another persona.

If you had to spend £200 on yourself, what would you buy?

I'm really not very good at buying things for myself and always have to be persuaded. This is probably to salve my "I don't deserve this" conscience whilst underneath I crave all sorts of things. I'm very lucky in that I have all the possessions I want so probably I'd buy a new compressor for my airbrush or a Sony Electronic Book.


What gift would you like?

Simple - The gift of Knowledge

Would you like to be famous?

Not for fame's sake but perhaps as someone who has gained respect through a positive contribution to Life

Name 3 privileges which you have been granted?

My children, my time spent scuba diving where I have been allowed a glimpse into another secret world and, finally, the support of those that love me.


Now I've read that back, it's really quite a boring bit of writing. Do I post it and risk my few readers drifting off into total boredom or do I not? One of the reasons I write my blog is as a diary of me so perhaps I might just publish and be damned!