Driving Me Mad

Before I have my rant, some regular readers may notice the new re-designed blog. I hope you like it as I think it probably suits my writing persona far better than the staid, old one. Thanks to the wonderful people out there from whom I nicked the HTML, emoticons etc. without whom I would still be staring blankly at the screen.

Anyway, it's rant time:

I have a Toyota Corolla. Boring I know, but I do have a Honda 750 VFR for my less staid moments. The problem is I made the silly mistake of mentioning to someone that I have never had a problem with it since new. Within 36 hours, the windscreen wipers died on me and, with the summer we're having, this was not good. As I have Green Flag cover I telephoned them and explained the problem. They asked me if it was raining and, when I said it wasn't, they said they were unable to repair it although they would be happy to come and clean my windscreen if I required this! I explained that there was a distinct possibility that it might rain at some point but they blithely said to wait until then and call, when they would be happy to tow me to the nearest garage.

At this point I pointed out that their luxury, all-singing cover was about as much use as a chocolate teapot and phoned my garage who agreed, quite happily, to effect a repair and the car was accordingly dropped off. It was inconvenient to say the least as it was 2 days before the holiday but I was confident that I would get the car back that day and do all the running around on the following day.

Of course, when I called at 4pm it hadn't been done but I was reliably assured it would be done really early the next day, once the part arrived. Guess what? Yep, in the end I had to take it back and drive into Brighton praying for no rain (and it nearly worked). Every traffic light or stop I came to I was feverishly shoving my hand out of the window trying to work a miracle with my ice scraper, which did nothing apart from allow me to walk around Brighton with an extremely soggy arm. I left it, once more, at the garage whilst we were on holiday and am pleased to say I came back to an all-weather car once more.

The Toyota gods were still angry with me however as, last Friday, I noticed the engine warning light glowing steadily. I pulled over and consulted the story book which said to take it to the dealer.

Now, this really didn't help. If it had said "DO NOT DRIVE" I might have felt better but oh no, that would have been far too helpful. I mean, they were effectively implying it was still OK to drive by saying take it to the garage. What if I had been in Aberdeen or something? How long would this implied safety last? It was the automotive industry's equivalent of "Feelin' lucky, punk?".

I decided to telephone Green Flag once more. After all, if they could sort it then end of problem and it isn't as if I had ever bothered them ( apart from a fortnight ago) in the 3 years I've been with them. They were most helpful telling me they would send a tow truck. When I suggested that they might actually like to try and repair it, this was met with horror! "Ooh, it's all computer diagnostics, forget that."

There was I stuck in a car park, as far away from the exit as one could get with the chances of a tow truck squeezing between the cars as remote as Carole from Big Brother winning Miss World so I had a brainwave. I phoned Toyota and asked a service engineer for his advice. After all, the prices that they charge, their engineers must be as highly trained as the F1 Mclaren team's. He asked me whether it drove and sounded alright? After a positive reply, he assured me that it ought to be OK so I tentatively drove home. Phoned the garage and was told to bring it in today (6 days later!), which I duly did at 8am. I was told that they just had to finish dropping in a clutch and mine was next and I'd definitely get it back today.

Needless to say, I am still sitting here car-less and my view of garages is only slightly less jaundiced than that of Green Flag. My phone call was classic garage. "Yeah well, we ain't even had time to look at it, we're really busy." Not with my f*cking car you aren't!

It's certainly the last time I say anything about car reliablity, that's for sure: and next year, it's back to good old A.A. (even though they don't salute any more) Must go now, off to buy a push bike!