What the HTML's Going On Now?

The thing I've realised about blogs is that one never knows how many people actually read them. An author can judge his success by the amount of books sold (or not) whilst a magazine writer or journalist is able to judge by whether he remains on the payroll.

One of the more satisfying things about creating a blog is being able to learn the arcane delights of HTML and hex code etc., and it was whilst I was trawling through the myriad sites regarding these that I found the counter.

This harmless-looking little widget is, in fact, calculated to strike terror into the heart of any blogger. Mine is approaching the 4 figure mark now and, instead of celebrating the fact, my mind is full of doubts as to its veracity. For all I know, I have 1 serial reader or perhaps it's a rival blogger trying to lull me into a false sense of security? I know it's not me because I have blocked my IP address from registering but just who is it?

Maybe it's people who specialise in reading crap blogs and they meet weekly to giggle helplessly at my efforts? Possibly it's even a technical glitch or an internet version of FoneJacker? One day, I'll come in and find it's been cleared back to 7 and a polite notice saying "that'll teach you, sucker!!Even if I accept that it is a significant number of people, then who are they? Why on earth would they want to read my blog? Perhaps my family are paying people to click on it to make me feel better? When am I going to stop ending every sentence with a question mark?

Assuming that real people read my blog, I now wonder just who they are (damn, another question mark)? I'm assuming they must be people of either great literary discernment or Big Issue sellers with nothing better to do, sitting in a doorway furtively peering at their laptops. Incidentally, why is it Big Issue sellers always only have one left whenever they ask me to buy, whilst surrounded by the detritus of their sorry lives i.e. Starbucks cartons, obligatory mongrel with red scarf and winsome smile?

Ooh, sometimes I can be soooo cynical!

The problem of who actually peeks into my strange world may now be, hopefully, solved by the addition of a Guest Book. This again could be a "shoots self in foot" exercise as maybe nobody will ever sign it. I suppose I could buy some web space with 500 free email addresses and send them all to myself from the likes of Samantha Janus, Margaret Thatcher, Nelson Mandela etc. but it's not quite the same. I might even suggest people use it instead of Christmas cards which would increase it by (checks last year's list) ah ...... 5. Well, we shall see what we shall see. If you, dear reader, do exist then feel free to sign Da Book. I shall check optimistically each day and either be pleasantly surprised or, to quote Big Brother's Brian, feel a right yoghurt top!