See You Next Tuesday

OK, I admit that I'm old. I can remember when the Woodentops were still made of wood from unsustainable forests and you could feed a family of 12 on Caramacs for a whole year for half a crown. I can even remember when people spoke in pounds and ounces rather than all this kilothingies and we could make our own decisions rather than be directed by some foreign chappies in Brussels.

Times have changed and there seem few voluntarily-imposed no-go areas these days. One, however, seems to be sliding inexorably into our lives and that is a certain word; the clue of which is in the Blog title.

I still remember the furore when Ken Tynan used a certain F word on television. The papers were filled with indignation and 'Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells' almost exploded in a cloud of self-righteous apoplexy. Now, the moment the 9pm watershed is reached, it seems fair game to use in dramas, comedies etc - indeed, it has become totally acceptable in all circumstances. I was watching David Attenborough the other night; once upon a time he would have said 'And here we see the South American coypu, a shy, gentle creature, procreating deep in the heart of the Amazon jungle. An example, perhaps, of the beauty of Nature, and an unforgettable sight.'

Now, it's more ' Jeez, look at that great furry bastard, f*cking like a good'un!'

The verb has it's place within context and I certainly have no objection to its use but there has always been restraint when it comes to the C word. During the last week, it seems to have shot into popular parlance on TV and I'm not really sure if I'm comfortable with it. Why? I just don't know. It has always sounded an ugly word and is the only word I never use (apart from Vorderman).

Am I being strange here? I decided to Google the word and eventually reached the page I wanted although, with Safe Search turned off, I was considerably sidetracked. It is defined thus:

C*nt (IPA:/kʌnt/) is an English language vulgarism referring generally to the female genitalia. The earliest citation of this usage, circa 1230, is in the Oxford English Dictionary, referring to the London street known as "Gropec*nt Lane".

"C*nt" is also used informally as a derogatory epithet in referring to either sex, but this usage is relatively recent, dating back only as far as the late nineteenth century. The Compact Oxford English Dictionary defines "c*nt" as "an unpleasant or stupid person", whereas Merriam-Webster defines the term as "a disparaging term for a woman"; the Macquarie Dictionary of Australian English defines it as "a despicable man."

The word appears to have been in common usage during the Middle Ages until the eighteenth century, and after a period of disuse, began to be used more frequently in the twentieth century and in particular in parallel with the rise of popular literature and pervasive media.

So there you go. I'd be tempted to start a *Keep a C*nt Off Our Screens* campaign but that would sadly inhibit all political broadcasts, not to mention the total disintegration of Joe Pasquale's career.

I fully appreciate that the dramatic effect is diluted when the baddie says to the good guy "Keep away from me, you lady's front bottom" but think what a nicer world it would be.

I'm sure all parents of daughters have there own euphemism for such a thing; with us, it was winkie. I've no idea how it evolved but it did. Daisy is also another which is rather nice and was used by Mrs B with her two (children, that is, before you all start phoning the Freak Show!).

Perhaps it's me just having a "thing" about the word. Maybe caused by some long-forgotten trauma like mis-reading The Count of Monte Cristo at the age of 5?

Anyway, enough fannying around. I'm off to write a strong letter to "Points of View"!