My 100th Post

Well, who'd have thought it? My 100th blog and I've absolutely no idea what to say!

I don't know why it has become a landmark for me but a landmark it is. I feel I ought to mark it in some spectacular way such as a million pound giveaway, a widget on the blogsite that, when pressed, releases an exquisite array of cyber-fireworks into the sky or perhaps a line of perfectly groomed llamas performing the Triumphal March from Aida on golden trumpets? I was thinking of doing some sort of giveaway but the thought of parting with my rapidly-depleting Caramac stash fills me with terror.

According to my statistics, there have been 6300 visitors in the last 10 months or so, the last 8 weeks have seen 1536 visitors from 60 countries and 43% of the population want me as the next Pope (one of these is not true).

My blogs have covered a multitude of subjects: rants, events, observations, high times, low times, good times and bad. I've tried to be honest, I've hopefully entertained and provoked but most of all, I've been me. Me, that is, in all my various incarnations.

My dear superhero and alter ego, Bertie Bassett: Righter of wrongs, King of Cool and champion of the lime-green Lycra, he enables me to realise all my fantasies and gives me the confidence to face the world when, sometimes, his creator is taking a break. I hope he's perceived as a fairly loveable chap and people accept him for what he is - a force for good and a thoroughly good egg.

Bertie's sister, Bunty: Tweed-suited and statuesque Agony Aunt with a penchant for cigars and short-haired ladies. She hides a heart of gold behind a tough, no-nonsense exterior and evolved through Bertie's efforts to provide succour to the occupants of the Big Brother House. Currently living on a Greek island with her P.A., Brunhilde, she will no doubt reappear when the Big Brother House is once more occupied.

Can I just mention here, another incarnation that I wish were mine: the adorably unwholesome but trustingly naive Reg McDuffe. His love of ferrets and compost heaps is overshadowed by a greater, unrequited, love which he pursues with hope and optimism. Reg's creator is a mystery but I feel a great affinity towards the failed Superhero apprentice. Perhaps Reg embodies my desire for a simple life? He certainly exemplifies my eternal faith that everything will be alright in the end.

The final incarnation is called Graham: I can't even begin to try and explain him.

I'm fortunate that several friends and celebrities have been kind enough to add their personal endorsements and these, totally unedited and unsolicited, comments are reproduced below:-

Great-Aunt Honoria: He's a lovely boy and, apart from that trouble with the donkey (which was never proved), has always been a model nephew.

Rafa Benitez: The body of a demi-god, the skills of Ronaldo and the face of Peter Crouch - still, 2 out of 3 ain't bad.

Jonathan Ross: Weally, this is undoubtedly a top-wanked blog.

Robert Mugabe: Mr Bassett, like so many Britons, exemplifies all that is good in the world.

Jordan: Er, how much do I get paid to write something nice?

Her Royal Highness, Queen Elizabeth II: People of the Commonwealth, rejoice at this momentous occasion. One is pleased to ..................................Philip, don't do that all over the photograph of Mr Al Fayed! ...................where was one? Ah yes, we are pleased to proclaim Lord Bassett of the Lime, Poet Laureate and Keeper of the Royal Speedos.

Sir Bob Geldof: Oi'm tinkin' dat BertAid is a great way of feedin' de fookin' world. Hand over yer Haribo and help raise enough money to get me a decent haircut, yer bastards!

Graeme Norton: You could be Nancy!

George Bush: What's my name? Do I live here? What's this big, red butto.....................aaaaaaaargh!

I suppose really I just want to use this 100th blog to say a few 'thank yous'.

Thank you to all the people, events and occurrences out there which gave me blog fodder whilst raising my blood pressure accordingly. In particular, special mentions go to the staff of Somerfield, screaming children, the NHS and drivers of second-hand BMWs.

Thanks to all the special people at Digital Spy (especially the SUC thread) who provide so much good company, wit and friendship. Your care and support during the loss of my Father and my recent hospital sojourns especially helped me.

Thanks also to authors in general but particularly Miss E. Blyton who gave me such enjoyment as a child (and, incidentally, fostered my love of books, writing and the English language) as well as inspiring me to write my own Famous Five adventure.

Thanks to so many creative and talented musicians for their company in times both good and bad. Special mentions to Neil Young (of course!), Ray Davies, CSN, Robert Johnson et al. I hope my choice of blog music has provided something for every taste.

Thank you one and all for reading, thank you for supporting and helping me at times when it's been needed and, most of all, thank you for your friendship. I value your comments and know I should reply to them more. That's a promise for the future!

My blogs help, entertain and fulfil a part of me. I hope that they add a smidgeon of something good to you, my lovely reader. You've shared part of my journey through Life and I'm honoured that you so chose.

Vaya con Dios .................. and here's to many more.