Blog writing is a strange pastime. What does one want to commit to paper (albeit virtual paper)? In my case it depends; sometimes it's deep and dark and I often bottle out of hitting the "Publish" button, sometimes it's something that I feel strongly about but predominantly it's me being me.
There are certain subjects or blog thoughts I have in the back of my mind that I know will surface eventually as a blog, a bit like trapped wind or, as our American cousins would say "trapped gas" and that, my dear old thing, hits the proverbial nail right on the head! As the great Irish playwright George Bernard Shaw said; 'England and America are two countries divided by a common language'. I have some very lovely and special American internet friends, of whom I think the world but they have arbitrarily decided to change spellings, words .... and practically anything they fancy and still have the cheek to call it English!
Some I can understand, for example the wind/gas situation. I mean, when the Pilgrim Fathers toddled off to the New World (and what was wrong with the old one, may I ask?) they were aboard ship for a long time and I am sure they had their fair share of intestinal problems. Being God-fearing folk I'm sure they were far too polite (being English!) to mention this and no doubt blamed it on the ship's dog so their descendants had to invent a new word. This is fair enough but ... and this is the nub of the matter .......... when they started building cars they didn't call fuel petrol as we do. Oh no, they had to find another word and what did they choose? The same as flatulence!! Who decided to bastardise our language? Oops, sorry my colonial buddies, that should be 'bastardize'.
See what I mean? A perfectly sensible means of converting nouns and adjectives into verbs and they decide to change the spelling. The only reason I can think of is to get higher scores in Scrabble. And what about the humble 'u'? Humor, honor, color - all bereft. I can just imagine the newly colonised America, all sitting round playing Puritan games like Pin the Tail on the Devil and Hunt the Witch and then they got bored.
Pilgrim Father 1: I hungereth. Hath anybody invented MacDonalds yet?
Pilgrim Father 2: Letteth us think of a pastime to taketh away thy hunger, Jedediah
Pilgrim Father 1: I know, letteth us really pisseth of ye Brits by screwething up their language!
Pilgrim Father 2: I'd rather watcheth Baywatch but Okeyeth Dokeyeth.
I could trawl the depths and go for cheap laughs by talking about the different meaning of such words as 'fanny' and 'muff' but this whole subject is far too important to drop to such levels. I read certain things on Facebook and the net and I haven't got a clue what's going on. What in the name of all the gods is 'Woot!'? I am assuming it is similar to hooray or some such exclamation of joy but 'Woot!'??? Have you ever in your life heard anybody go 'Woot'? I certainly never have (apart from when my friend Alan was eating and something went down the wrong way. As I hit him sharply on the back and a small but life-threatening piece of casseroled pheasant ricocheted across the room, a Woot like sound was heard.).
I am trying to be fair and impartial here but even taking into account that all Americans are mad still finds me puzzled by their attitude to lexicographical matters. I really do love my American friends dearly but you have a lot to answer for ............ Jerry Springer, country and western, Oprah Winfrey, electing George Bush (twice!) but above all, your total deconstruction of our wonderful language. My English accent has been called 'cute' ........ need I say more?! And what decent TV have you come up with? OK, I can think of a couple but when I switch on my 50" Panasonic I don't want to watch some dreadful documentary about 4 (going on 18) year olds entering pageants or programmes entitled "I was a 48 stone Cheerleader" or The O.C.. As for "Lost", never has a series been more aptly named. I gave up when some bloke got killed for the fourth time and he was still in the next series! Oh dear, I'm starting to work up a froth now so I'll try and calm down. I will not mention anything about a sport where only American teams play for the World Series or why programmes about cake decorating seem to have taken over our screens.
Have your own language by all means but call it American - not American English or English. Call your mothers 'mom' and not 'mum' but don't try and hide behind our 1600 year old linguistic roots otherwise I'll smack your bum. See, you didn't change 'bum' to 'bom', did you? "Oh no, we'll just give that as a name for vagrants because tramp isn't good enough for us". See what I mean? I won't even start on your totally carefree and lax attitude towards transitive verbs.
Right y'all, gotta go now, it's time for The Simpsons.
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5 comments:
Yay for The Simpsons :D Excellent blog again hun - I don't know why our American cousins (cosins?) have such a problem with our 'u's - maybe they lack the humour or vigour to embrace them? :D Can't wait until our Awesome American chums catch sight of this blog post ... the comments will be interesting ;) x
Right... There is a "thing" called etymology. Languages evolve, and British English is by no means the first, and probably not the last, to undergo adaptation and evolve by a "secondary" population, such is the Americans.
The Chinese written language, far older than English, has undergone transformations and evolutions by its own secondary populations. The Japanese and Korean written languages were adapted and derived from the Chinese language.
This is a case study of anthropology of language. While the secondary Asian populations have had the luxury of time and primitive technologies coupled with the isolation by geography, to develop and transform the mother language into their own unique language alongside the development of their own cultures, Americans have not had those same luxuries. The Brits are witnessing the progress of linguistic adaptation by their fellow Americans. Without the aid of modern technology, in several hundred years times, the Brits probably would not be able to recognize the "American version of English". Americans may still call it as simply English but the Brits may assert it be distinctly "American," a much different variant of English.
The American culture has become ubiquitous around the world, disseminating its influence by way of entertainment and "programmes" on TV and film. Additionally, Americans are at the forefront of creating new technologies and sciences that they create new words to augment to the English language. Words like WOOT! is a prime example.
While words have concrete origins, the languages they form are not static. Rather, they are very dynamic. The stiff-chinned Brits may not like all the changes they see and hear from the Americans but they are witnessing the evolution and dynamism at its core and its finest.
Alas, English is not the end-all, be-all in linguistics and etymology. It is derived afterall from other, more ancient languages, like Latin. While Americans have derived the core of their language from the British, we in this nation of immigrants from around the world, use and derive our language from multiple sources and cultures. We adapt and suggest you do so as well. ;)
Que?
Oh and btw...it's "colonized" ;P
WOOOT!!!
Hi Anonymous and thanks for your comments. It's a shame you don't say who you are but that's your call.
Don't be so defensive! This whole blog was very tongue in cheek although I do appreciate you explaining about this "thing" called etymology. Maybe someone can explain to you the following: patronising, pompous and humour.
Thanks for dropping by :)
PS Your grammar is pretty awful, by the way. Was some of it copied and pasted? Always best to read it again in context or, even better, be original ;)
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